Working Through My Sh*t

December 17, 2019 Author: Rianne Chavez

Last week I discussed my own lesson in body positivity. 

I wanted to share a little more about the path I took to finding peace with my image in those photographs. 

To be clear, it wasn’t something that came quickly.

(I mentioned stewing and there was probably even some marinating before the stewing if it’s ok to mix a metaphor or two and create a word salad.)

My journey to acceptance was multidimensional and messy, just like life.

i had to feel all of those feelings.

I mean really lean into them, acknowledge them, name them. No more stuffing those feelings down like a bowl of ice cream after a long day. It’s not a comfortable thing to do by any means, but it’s something I’m getting better at doing. It’s been a slow process but I see progress every single day.

i have to acknowledge that my thoughts create my feelings.

Feelings and emotions don’t just come out of anywhere, they are triggered by thoughts. You can read about it in publications from Psychology Today, parenting blogs, mindfulness teachings. Cognitive behavior therapy uses it as a technique as well as life coaches. This concept is written and embraced across multiple professions. My friend and colleague at The Hive Wichita uses it as part of her coaching strategies for Mindfuel Coaching with Sarah Yost.

change the thoughts, change my feelings.

Ugh, more work. Change your thoughts and you’ll change your feelings. All feelings are caused by thoughts.

My original thoughts when I saw the images were things like:

When did I get so fat? Is that what I really look like?

I can’t believe I have a roll now.

Those thoughts all lead to feelings of sadness, feeling defeated, disgust, and even anger.

I had to consciously change my thoughts and reframe my dialogue.

I deserve grace for being perfectly imperfect.

I am a strong and capable woman.

I love these images.

That’s a powerful stance for massage.

Those statements led me to feelings of being empowered, strong, and worthy.